I've been hanging on to this in my inbox for ages so thought I'd put it here. If you love Jack Nicholson's performance in A Few Good Men, you'll like this!
Programmer: Jack Nicholson
Sales Team: Tom Cruise
Programmer: You want answers?
Sales Team: I think I'm entitled to them.
Programmer: You want answers?!
Sales Team: I want the truth!
Programmer: You can't HANDLE the truth!!
Son, we live in a world that has DATA, CODE AND CONCEPTS. And those ABSTRACT SOLUTIONS have to MAP TO THE REAL WORLD. Who's gonna DESIGN THEM?
You? You, MR. SALES TEAM? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for FUNCTIONALITY and you curse the SPEED OF THE SYSTEM. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that these SYSTEMS, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that DESIGN TEAM.
You need me on that DESIGN TEAM.
We use words like DESIGN, CODE, ANALYSIS...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent PROVIDING ANSWERS AND SOLUTIONS.
You use 'em as a punch line.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my DESIGN to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very SOLUTION I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a CODING LANGUAGE and DESIGN a SYSTEM. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!
Sales Team: Did you CUT THOSE EXTRA FEATURES?
Programmer: (quietly) I did the job you HIRED me to do.
Sales Team: Did you CUT THOSE EXTRA FEATURES?!!
Programmer: You're goddamn right I did!!